As soon as I pulled my earplugs out this morning, I thought, “I don’t remember the shower being that loud last night.” Then I realized it wasn’t the shower; it was the rain outside.
I was going to have to dig deep today to overcome the mood I had been in for the last two days. So I did. And it was a lovely day in spite of the rain.
I got an email from a friend a few days ago. In it she said how lucky I was to have this time to think and contemplate life. She also said that some days she can’t bear to look at her calendar beyond that day because it stresses her out too much.
Thinking about that email today, I felt like the luckiest person on earth. Other than walking, my only responsibility this week was to remember two family birthdays. (Happy Birthday Dad! Happy Birthday Gabriel!) But it wasn’t so long ago that I felt just like my friend.
In fact, it was that feeling of overwhelm, one that had become my new normal, that led to this trip. And it wasn’t something I have been able to shed overnight. It took months to get to where I am now, the ease of being that I currently feel. But I feel like it has imprinted on me in some way, and I intend to carry it forward when I return home.
I realize that it won’t be easy, especially once we are back in a world of work and responsibility, the day-to-day activities of “real life.” Yet, I feel like I have learned so much about myself and my partner over the last ten months, lessons that will not easily be forgotten.
And when I do feel those old feelings of stress and overwhelm rear their ugly heads, I feel confident that I can draw on the experiences from this adventure, the lessons learned, to find a new way to cope, a new way to live.
Today I walked 17.4 miles.